Birthday....Bash...in the true sense

I was supposed to put up this one long back in June. Late, but still better!

As I celebrate my birthday today, I find myself at the crossroads of life, yet again. All the direction boards are laughing incessantly. Not because I have told them a joke, but because I have made a joke of myself. Goals ? zero, Directions ? zero, Guides ? zero, Any definitive answers to these questions ? zero.....well zero is only answer I have got and zero is still definitive!

So starting to make long-term plans now. No, don't worry, these plans have not been put on pen & paper, lest I should be accused of not working towards these plans. All these plans are materialistic and so I hope they will come true soon.

After all, if a monk can sell a ferrari, I can aleast buy a Maruti!

On a more serious note, reaching a crossroad called "30 years" ( within next year) brings in me a sense of insecurity about future. I have to do something fast! 30 is approaching fast!

I can do something fast...but I have to figure out what that "something" is.....till then........I will enjoy the "bashing" Life gave me this birthday!

Car...The 4-wheeled dream crusher

It had been there since my childhood, but it all started to take a serious turn around 4 years back, when I started earning well enough to be able to afford a car. Yes, I am talking about my obsession of the 4-wheeled horseless Chariot( sounds a bit too dramatic and out of the Mythologies, but thats how the first mechanized cars were known to be). The dreams had always showed me nothing less than the Bentleys, Maybachs and The Rolls. But the practical mind first started to figure out a parking place for a Maruti 800 at my rented house, which didn't have a proper garage.

Time advanced, I shifted into an apartment which boasted of individual car parking areas, but my car-buying plan got postponed, with my finances finding their way out of my pocket to realize a variety of dreams, except for the one that flashed the car. But dreams also grew bolder by the day. Maruti 800 was replaced with a high end Maruti Alto. And by the end of 2 years of serious dreaming about owning a car, I had already upgraded to a WagonR......ofcourse in my dreams!

The 3rd year saw me deep down in a pool of high budget hatchbacks like the Palios and Fabias. Ofcourse, before the Fabia I had already upgraded from the WagonR to Zen Estillo which looked quite sleek in a vibrant red.......mind you! all upgrades have happened in my dreams only! There were even some low-budget sedans like the Indigo CS, Ford Ikons and Hyundai Accents etc doing cameos in my dreams during the last part of the 3rd year of my car dreams.

Enter 4th year, and I am still stagnant with my practical mind being stuck at the 5 lakh budgeted cars...but you have no idea how far my imaginations have flown. Driving in 5 different cars( all being either a Bugati, a Lamborghini, Porsche or a Ferrari orLotus) to office and getting the "oomph factor" glances from everybody have now become a main course in my dreams. And so, the practical mind has also grown out of its bugdet and proportion.

There's a jingle for Fiat Linea these days "am stuck...at the sight of you"....well so am I...not with Linea, but with the latest generation of Honda City. Its sleek and sporty look has stolen my heart..and its out-of-range pric(around 9.5 lakhs) has stolen my sleep. Am trying to get some of my sleep back by consoling myself that Honda City will have to wait........but again its smarter sibling, the Honda Jazz has made my dreams quite jazzy.....

So if you see a guy sleep-walking with his eyes wide open.....and a set of 4-wheels twinkling in his eyes....please don't mind....he would take some time to get down to earth and stare at reality..........

Until then.............

Golf...and its new admirer

After almost a week of inquiries into the game, its requirements and exhorbitant expenses, I was there at the Golf range one fine Saturday morning. My neatly tucked Tee and sport shoes gave the impression that I was a regular on the course. Immediately after I parked my bike, the security guard showed me the way to the Driving range. I had an appointment fixed with a Golf Instructor. At 500 bucks an hour it was a pricey appointment indeed! Peter(instructor) was already there and busy giving tips to another Golfer. He signalled me to wait and that he would be with me in a few minutes. This gave me chance to get a peak into the golf store housed inside the Administrative office. I browsed through all the irons and woods as if I were a serious prospective buyer, but the time I left the store without even opening my purse, you should have seen the store boy's face.

Meanwhile, Peter had finished his session and was waiting for me. "Good morning Harish! How are you ?  So what do you know about Golf ?" These questions were expected, and yet unexpected. All I had been thinking, I would go on the range, pick a club and start hitting around. But being a true instructor that he was, Peter started testing my knowledge abt the game and my physical and mental abilities. It was quite a while before I wielded a #8 Club and was ready to start hitting my first ever bucket of Golf balls. Though it always looked easy on the television, I really got tired by the time I took out the 11 ball for a strike. Peter smiled, "I have given you graphite clubs for practice since you are a beginner. The steels are more heavier and you would be out of energy even before you run out of Golf balls."

"Yeah! I guess I underestimated the effort for this", I quipped, while positioning myself for the next shot. It was after around 15 drives when I heard "good shot" from Peter. I had a good stance and a good connection, and the 15th ball really went quite a long distance. And in the 5o balls session I could hear more of Peter's comments about shots. I was exhausted and so was my bucket of balls. I paid up at the office for the Instructor sessions and headed straight for the coffee house. After all, I had the right to a nice cup of coffee after an hour's hard work!!

That was the only Instructor session I have had so far. I have not really found time to go onto the greens and play a full game. But I do frequent the course, my target being the driving range, where I can hone on my driving skills before I get on to play on the greens. Golf still remains expensive for me. I don't see a reason behind splurging on a Golf set and painstakingly carry it on the bike when I take on to the game only 2-3 times a month. So renting a kit on the course serves my needs. Someday, I am sure, I will own a car. And then I can afford to buy my own golf kit and carry it around in my car.

Till then..............

Unexpected Guest.......

I struggled with the key in the keyhole for the main door. I was totally drained out at office today and was longing for a good night's sleep. I still couldn't help but notice a blink of light coming out of the key hole. "Had I switched off the lights before leaving ? or had I not ??". Sometimes these jittery thoughts make me panic as I stay alone and I wouldn't expect anybody to be inside my house with the door locked.

But it had to be that way.....He liked it that way....He always liked....I was truly in for a shock when I saw Him sitting on my divan. My heart skipped beats, I don't know how many, only to come back to normal soon after I recognised Him. "Ha! good evening! I shocked you for sure, didn't I ?" God looked as if he had been thoroughly enjoying. "Yeah you sure did. You always seem to be happy when I get those heart-attacks, never mind my high BP. " I was still ruffled by the shock. I realized that it wasn't the light, it was His vibrant white robe which was glowing. My hand automatically went for the switch and I turned it on, only to find that the fluoroscent lamp was damp and dull before His glow.

"Dude, I am hungry. Why don't you put to work your amazing culinary skills, combined with the new microwave oven that you have bought and cook me a dish that I can savour ??" He really looked like he could help Himself with 2 persons' food."First, I am really tired. Second, I don't know what I have at home to cook a good supper tonight." I replied, after I tossed my shoes into the corner and myself onto whatever little space available on the divan. "Hey! you have tofu in ur freezer and some red and yellow bell peppers in the vegetable drawer in the fridge. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist myself, so finished off the chocolates that were inside too!" He had this very innocent look on his face which kids often sport when they have done something wrong. My mouth gaped open, then closed slowly as it dawned on me that somebody who had a "key-less" entry to my home, also had access to each and everything that was present there. I replied,"Thats great. Now since you know the contents in a very accurate manner, why don't you go ahead and do the cooking too ?"

"Thats not fair! You can cook 6 dishes single-handedly when you are inviting people over for lunch, but you can't even cook supper for me!...thats very rude of you. I should have burnt the dal also that day, pity that I burnt only the gobi dish and kheer...."

My whole body was upright now. I was feeling charged up! So He is the real culprit of not one, but two kitchen tragedies last thursday!!

I had already bolted from the divan. I was now standing straight......face-to-face with God, who was still relaxing on the divan.....my divan, after all that He had done that day! "My dear God, first you screw up my dishes on a day when I have guests at my home and now you ask me to cook up a sumptous dinner for you! You are just fantastic! All this while I had been thinking what impression my guests would have had that day with a burnt kheer as dessert!"

"Chill dude! you can call them again for another luncheon with a delicious kheer, no burning this time - I promise... " He told finally, but His eyes again wandered towards my fridge. "Yeah, they will surely think 10 times before accepting another invitation from me and they will also think about the burnt vegetables and kheer....."

He couldn't say anything now....all He could do was point at the fridge with a sulking face. "Alright Sir! let me see what I can prepare for you. Hope you don't burn anything on the stove or in the oven, you are going to eat whatever will be cooked!" And I went straight into the kitchen, my dreams of an early to bed and good sleep shattered...............